I can't have what I want
What's written in books
Pretending to love like a some girl in a movie
I can't have what I need
My world is real
No one wants a girl like me
Damaged carrying baggage
Can't keep a girl like me
I want to be kept
But I want to be free
Love's so sweet
But lasts only a moment
The pain of abandonment cripples my heart
But only lasts forever
I want to love and feel love in return
It always comes with a price
I'm a miser with my emotions
Others share them for free
But they never share them with me
Leave me with worry, washing over me like rain
My man- he never came
I want to be okay
There's got to be a way
To get what I haven't got
I want to be okay
I want to hear him say
That I am what I am not
I found this poem in one of my many journals from September 2001. It seems the relationship I was in at the time kept me busy writing.